Tekken’s King is a Furry and This Is Not Acceptable

Published on by Nick Soapdish
Why Tekken's King being a furry should be grounds for removal from the game.

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I think it’s time some­one fi­nal­ly ad­dressed the 6’10” mus­cle­bound jaguar in the room. King, ar­guably Tekken’s most rec­og­niz­able char­ac­ter for over 20 years, is clear­ly a fur­ry. And as such should have no place in video games. Thanks to re­cent events with Tony the Tiger, I think we all know why.

 

It is clear that “King” is just the fur­sona of a de­praved in­di­vid­ual. Many peo­ple think he isn’t so bad, as he doesn’t rock a full fur-suit. This ac­tu­al­ly makes it much worse. The real rea­son he doesn’t ful­ly suit up is to ac­cen­tu­ate his bare naked chest with glis­ten­ing nip­ples, and he wears skin tight pants to high­light his pro­trud­ing crotch and firm but­tocks. Worse than a fur­ry, he’s a sex­u­al­ized furry.

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King demon­strat­ing one of his many vile sex­u­al manoeuvres

There is a rea­son he’s a “grap­pler” type. Getting in close, tak­ing peo­ple down, grab­bing, and squeez­ing peo­ple against their will. I have it on good au­thor­i­ty that King reg­u­lar­ly par­tic­i­pates in yiff­ing ses­sions with Armor King. He gets up to plen­ty more de­bauch­ery in the nu­mer­ous fur­ry con­ven­tions he fre­quents. Along with Armor King, he most like­ly par­tic­i­pates in furpiles with Kuma, Panda and Rodger. It is quite rea­son­able to as­sume that the afore­men­tioned an­i­mal trio aren’t ac­tu­al­ly an­i­mals at all, but peo­ple in full fur suits. This means they should also be re­moved from the se­ries (Alex and Gon are Scalies who should also be re­moved as well).

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King takes his prey back to his “wrestling ring of rape.” Ban this game! Censor it!

King is a bit like Lucky Chloe, but worse. He also sports a tail ac­ces­so­ry, con­stant­ly fin­ish­es his sen­tences with ~nyan while strik­ing cat girl pos­es, but with high de­grees of sex­u­al de­vian­cy. It is spec­u­lat­ed you can even cause death by these de­grees of deviancy.

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Lucky Chloe. Basically a far less provoca­tive, far less sex­u­al­ized, far less de­bauch­er­ous ver­sion of King.

I be­lieve that King has got­ten a free ride for the last 20 years, but it is time that he was ap­pro­pri­ate­ly cen­sored so he can­not cor­rupt the minds of chil­dren any­more with his un­healthy lifestyle choic­es. Furryism should not be tol­er­at­ed or pro­mot­ed in video games. King brings this im­moral fetish to the main­stream and this must be stopped.

King, tru­ly one of fight­ing games great­est perverts.

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Nick Soapdish

If I did­n’t have a fam­i­ly to feed I’d spend all my mon­ey on video games and ani­me fig­ures. Satirist.
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