(This article is by Nick Soapdish, posted with permission. You can find Nick on Twitter and his website.)

Recently, Polygon published an article about the “race problem” in gaming, citing Polish developed game The Witcher 3 as a prime example of racism. A hashtag was also created, #GamesSoWhite, that was meant to highlight the problem of so many white people in games. Unfortunately, #GamerGaters co-opted it to show that there is diversity but that’s beside the point! Polygon is right, all games should have coloured protagonists regardless of the developers wishes, the story or the game’s setting. Why should they? Because!

So I present my contribution to making gaming more diverse. I introduce to you, the New Super Mario Bros!

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Although Luigi is a POC, they are still technically brothers. Luigi is now just a brother from another mother. See! Doesn’t this just improve the game by about 500%? It can even help explain why Luigi jumps higher. Having a token character for no other reason besides some arbitrary requirement just makes so much difference. I’d list all the benefits but… there’s just so many I’m struggling to come up with one.

Come to think of it, I don’t know why all those Japanese people were happy playing as just white men in Mario games for all those decades. Must be inner-racism I assume.

As always remember the lesson, if you want someone to do something then try to shame them repeatedly so they’ll do what you want. Forget their art or their culture, you have an agenda to push. This politically correct utopia isn’t going to make itself!

(This article is by Nick Soapdish, posted with permission. You can find Nick on Twitter and his website.)

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Nick Soapdish
If I didn't have a family to feed I'd spend all my money on video games and anime figures. Satirist.