Steam Socialism: Why Steam Needs to Implement Leftist Principles

Nick Soapdish is here to give us an answer to the dreaded 1% of steam who own a majority of games. That answer is Steam Socialism.

A fascinating article by Sergey Galyonkin (creator of Steam Spy) gave some amazing statistics on Steam game ownership and purchasing. You can read the whole article here. From this article this is the main point I will discuss:

1% of users own 33% of all games on Steam.

Never has the term PC Master Race been more apt. PC gamers often see themselves as richer and superior, and in light of these statistics this is clearly the case. On PC we are dealing with an elitist group that controls a third of the games on Steam. All of them white male neck beards no doubt (even including the people who aren’t). 80% of the PC gamer population only own 12% of the games on Steam. They are the paupers on which the snooty 1% look down upon and laugh.

This is the exact problem that Occupy Wall Street tried to solve, in which 1% of Americans controlled a third of the nation’s wealth (source). Given the same problem exists on Steam, surely an uprising of similar proportions is upon us. I hope so as it is greatly needed.

In this case the 1% are people who own 107 games on Steam or more. Looking at my Steam games list, I easily fit into this 1% group and I am disgusted with myself. Unfortunately I can’t cry “we are the 99%!” with the rest of the destitute gamers. What this means is that I am in a group with another 1.3 million gamers who disproportionately horde games from the other 133.7 million gamers. However, inspired by other great 1 percenters, like George Soros, I can campaign for social change and tell others how to live while still hoarding a large amount of assets.

What Steam needs is equality. The wealth of the 1% of gamers must be fairly distributed to the rest of the population. It is not fair that someone can be a dedicated gamer and purchase games without sharing with his fellow man/woman/gender not specified/other. From now on, when a privileged member of the master race purchases 1 game, 50% of that game should go to someone less fortunate. 20% of Steam users own 88% of the games, so we must make sure to tax them heavily too for the sake of equality. A group of people could be given power to implement these changes with prejudice. I’d call them the Steam Socialists or the SS for short. I think SS is a nice acronym that surely doesn’t have any negative connotations to a strict authoritarian group.

It is also clear that while the 1% of Steam gamers are the primary audience you need to appeal to (as they buy all the games), it is clear as well that they are not buying the correct games. The relative failure of games like Sunset show that while these elitists buy everything, they don’t buy “everything.” To make up for this, it should be required that these gamers must own a minimum of 5 pretentious indie games engaging artistic experiences. This will aid wealth distribution to those who deserve it most. It also furthers equality by helping needy developers who are heavily disadvantaged by their inability to make good games.

I’ve taken the liberty to answer what are bound to be frequently asked questions for this excellent plan:

“Why should I give my games to other people who choose not to work for them?”

Just because someone doesn’t put in effort, time or money to obtain the resources you have doesn’t mean they aren’t entitled to them. Just because they don’t want to conform to capitalist ideals doesn’t mean they can’t reap the rewards that capitalism brings.

“I worked hard to get these, this isn’t fair!”

Well let me tell you something, life isn’t fair. At least not fair for the people who aren’t you, you privileged scum. You try affording hundreds of games on Steam with a degree in women’s studies. Show some fairness by giving up what you have to people. Sure they don’t really need it, but they’re considered more marginalized than you so hand it over.

Once the wealth of all Steam games is equally distributed surely we will have made a utopian Steam society. Sure you could argue that the top 20% of gamers who are propping up the rest will stop buying games due to having to unequally share their goods. You could also argue that the remaining 80% would contribute even less, as there is no longer any need for them to work thanks to the handouts they receive. Both valid arguments that we will completely ignore.

The goal of Steam Socialism is equality by any means necessary, even if it doesn’t seem rational, reasonable, unbiased or practical. After all, if we can’t get video game equality right then surely the rest of society is doomed.