Translating Tumblr: Teacher Crush Fandom

*Pops a Combo in my mouth as we leave the gas station*

Remember that time in school when you had a crush on that one teacher? You thought he or she was really cute? I did. I had this redheaded history teacher when I was a freshman in highschool and I thought he was the coolest person ever. But I knew I was only 14 and it’d be weird to pursue a 25 year old so I kept my crush a ‘look only’ thing until I got a crush on some blonde, twinky upperclassmen I knew.

Crushes are normal, even ones you get on teachers… that’s assuming nothing comes out of it and/or you never pursued it anyway. And if you did, you were… you know… of legal age and not in their class(es) anymore.

You may be wondering why I’m walking you through this maze entrance and putting gloves and a surgical mask on you. You’re going to be glad I did because we’re going through the Maze of The Teacher Crush Fandom. Some of the ones here are harmless but others, as you’ll see, are just, erm, disgusting.

Here comes one now!

I thought we would start out strong.

Let’s have our second one be pretty strong too.

Pretty strong, huh? Well here’s another one over there.

This here is another case of “I don’t condone it, don’t do illegal stuff!” and then the fandom proceeds to do the illegal stuff. Just like the lifters.

Oh hey, look, some of them are doing a Q and A thing!

*chuckles* Gross.

Here’s an idea, babydoll, don’t mess around with someone that much older when you’re only 16 years old. He’s been legally able to drive a car for longer than you’ve been alive.

Bonus from the same blog:

Also:

If my child were pursuing a fucking adult in high school I wouldn’t be having any of that. No phone till they’re 18.

I learned that where this person lives they’re above the age of consent and she waited till after she left the class to do anything. While I still find it distasteful, at least this one was smarter about it.

Oh, okay, that’s totally reasonable.

Turn the corner up here, we’re making our way to the exit. I’m getting a little sick to my tummy.

Jesus Crust, advert your eyes, reader!

Oh my god!

I’ll admit, this one is in her early 20s. But the teacher is married and she’s still in his class. Nothing is ethical about this situation at all except the age thing for once.

Gross. Move along, maybe they won’t notice us if we stay close to the wall.

Again?!

This is the 20-something again. But holy shit, he is married, forget about it, please.

Again with the 20-something. I think she’s tailing us.

Almost at the exit! *Grabs you as we trudge through piles of love letters*

*We break through the letters and fall on our faces on the other side of the maze* Phew.

There’s no words for how sorry I am for taking you there. Let’s look for a resting place. Oh god… there’s only a hostel nearby. I guess beggars can’t be choosers, just don’t talk to anyone while we’re there. Onward!