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Hail Mary, full of grace. Our Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sin­ners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.”

Welcome back. Chapter two of MajorMinor re­cent­ly came out, and I can’t say I was look­ing for­ward to re­view­ing it. Strap in, be­cause it’s go­ing to be…uh…fun?

So we start in the ho­tel room we were left in at the end of Part One, and are told once again that Klace died. Then af­ter we catch up on what hap­pened last episode, we sud­den­ly go to a court­room in a land called “Terra.” Which is so orig­i­nal.

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You lis­ten to this guy go on a xeno­pho­bic rant about how peo­ple im­mi­grat­ing to their lands will eat all their food, and then some raggedy guy named Caylen (who I thought was a girl at first) stands up to him, and calls him out for con­stant­ly stuff­ing his face.

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He even has an in­side source that Plair has food con­stant­ly be­ing cart­ed into his house. How does he know this? Why, one of this dude’s own raggedy ser­vant, Kabu, spilled the beans!

For fuck’s sake, does no­body have prop­er cloth­ing? Is every­thing re­al­ly that bad there? Kabu tells every­one that Plair has been tak­ing all the food so that he could fur­ther his xeno­pho­bic agen­da, and then prompt­ly has the two ar­rest­ed. Cut to black.

Outside we find out that it was all a clever plot to get Caylen and Kabu be­hind the scenes.

They go back to the cas­tle and Endymion (the lion dude) goes to speak with King Velasquez.

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Oh God, it’s like they’re star­ing into my soul

I scrolled too fast, and you can’t go back, but that spe­cif­ic per­son is ap­par­ent­ly “the sav­ior” which isn’t cliche enough I sup­pose. And then when Endy asks why they need one in the first place, King Fucknut over here re­fus­es to say.

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I won­der who it is!? I won­der if this is go­ing to be an­oth­er sur­prise like when we found out who the oth­er con­test win­ner was!

Endy is then tasked with re­triev­ing the sav­ior from Earth — to do God knows what. We then we cut back to the drama‐fest over Klace be­ing dead. For some rea­son you and Kila are ter­ri­fied be­cause Klace died, which doesn’t make sense. Why fear? A feel­ing of loss or anger would make sense but… what­ev­er. I’m done car­ing at this point.

Now would be an ap­pro­pri­ate time to be scared. It also would’ve been in­ter­est­ing if you’d added that fa­cial ex­pres­sion in­stead of Kila still smil­ing like a damn id­iot.

Then this ass­hole shows up, you de­mand an­swers, and he tells you to go back to the Ark with him. The first choice you get in a very long time is whether or not to take his hand and go. I ac­ci­den­tal­ly chose not to take his hand.

I told you he was an ass­hole. No means no!

After forc­ing you into the Ark, he ex­plains the Ark is some­thing like a place out­side of time and that not many peo­ple are al­lowed in this place. He only trusts peo­ple of high cal­iber in this place. But for some rea­son he lets you, a stranger, into it. Bravo.

So he will an­swer your ques­tion, but only one. For…reasons? Am I go­ing to get to ac­tu­al­ly pick, or is this more like a re­al­ly slow, bor­ing movie again?

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Oh shit, I ac­tu­al­ly get to pick! So I asked him what the Midnight Deaths were. It seems most im­por­tant out of all of the ques­tions. And… he tells you he has no clue. Fan‐fucking‐tastic. I knew I should’ve asked who you were.

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Oh thank you, Sherlock. Nobody thought of that one before, I’m sure.

Oh thank you, Sherlock. Nobody thought of that one be­fore, I’m sure.

There. Finally. He tells us why the fuck he keeps show­ing up.

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He goes on to ex­plain they are af­ter you be­cause of a pow­er he put in you. For some rea­son. A to­tal stranger to him. Blah blah blah, peo­ple want the pow­er and he’s been thwart­ing their at­tempts to get to you, blah blah blah. But now he wants to know why, so he’s send­ing you to an­oth­er plan­et just to find out why they want you. Which is just…ugh. OK, what­ev­er.

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Uh huh. :^)

Lovely. This sounds fun al­ready. Careful there, me, you’re start­ing to touch Mary Sue wa­ters. Get your toes out of there.  After fly­ing through this, you land in a for­est and smack right into a tree. Your char­ac­ter has a mild pan­ic at­tack un­til Endy shows up! He as­sures you every­thing will be OK, and you’ll go back home some­day.

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This feels like it’s go­ing some­where I re­al­ly don’t want to go. Endy and Konrad from ear­li­er ex­plain that Terra is a peace­ful land that has re­cent­ly been ac­cept­ing peo­ple of oth­er planets/worlds, and they’re ruled by the Immortal King Velazquez. They take you to rest at a near­by town and ex­plain that they need­ed you be­cause you’re the sav­ior. Like that was any sur­prise. They talk about that for a bit, then im­mi­gra­tion, but my fa­vorite part is when they ask your name and mine is still this:

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Then you an­swer ques­tions for im­mi­gra­tion pa­per rea­sons. They ask your gen­der, if you’re a leader or a fol­low­er, whether you trust eas­i­ly or are skep­tic, whether you pre­fer a de­fen­sive or of­fen­sive strat­e­gy in fights, whether you’d kill for the greater good or not, and if you’d take a short but dan­ger­ous route or a long but safe route if giv­en the choice. I’m thor­ough­ly sur­prised I got this much choice. Then they ask if you pre­fer be­ing alone or in a group and, be­ing me, I chose alone.

After fi­nal­ly mak­ing it to town we meet these dudes, Klace’s man­ag­er Singe, the or­ange thing, and Rocker — the oth­er thing, all talk­ing about the Midnight Deaths. Later Jade comes in, warns him that he needs an al­i­bi be­cause he was the last per­son to see Klace alive, and then they talk about the world tour and how ru­ined it is. Then Jade drops this on us.

Insane shit, right? She goes on to ex­plain that the sui­cides are un­ex­plained but the mur­ders are. So that’s just great. We go to the limo now where these two talk. The oth­er per­son is Dazz, a back­up vo­cal­ist and dancer.

This was about the time I stopped pay­ing at­ten­tion. He’s talk­ing about Gods and shit.

I would like to proud­ly an­nounce: no, there’s no yiff­ing. Thank fuck­ing God. I don’t want to see that odd­ly pro­por­tioned thing naked, not that Klace would have the char­ac­ter ap­pear with any oth­er fa­cial ex­pres­sion, po­si­tion, or cloth­ing.

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I start­ed pay­ing at­ten­tion here. Well. That’s… nice…

Razz‐Dazz here has to go get some air af­ter Rocker goes on about how her ca­reer will be awe­some af­ter this lit­tle plan. He joins her out­side of the limo and that Inumi dude (who I for­got to men­tion is/was the “broth­er,” but some­how also not a broth­er of Klace — it’s not ex­plained) from ear­li­er — who ap­par­ent­ly lives in the limo — shifts over and says “Bro is dead?”

Fade to black, and we’re here again.

Shit, we fi­nal­ly know the dude’s name!

You sons of bitch­es!

And then it ends with Klace thank­ing you for get­ting through the sec­ond chap­ter. He then rolls these fuck­ing cred­its. Oh, I won­der why he’s do­ing this now? Maybe the back­lash from the com­mu­ni­ty? Whatever the rea­son, thank you Klace. You fi­nal­ly learned how to do a cred­it roll. Gold star stick­er.

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Overall the sto­ry­line was a tad bit cliche, but it was some­what more en­joy­able when we weren’t all about the cringy “KLACE!” shit.

I’d like to men­tion this as a part­ing note. Klace fi­nal­ly got a for real fuck­ing com­mu­ni­ty man­ag­er. Klace has ac­tu­al­ly done things that re­al­ly made me an­gry. Although I can’t bring my­self to be­lieve the ma­jor­i­ty of what was said in the an­nouc­ment, I’m hap­py some­one has stepped up to take over com­mu­ni­ty man­age­ment. They seem more level‐headed at least.

What I am learn­ing while play­ing this slice of hell is that Klace put out a game that was pret­ty much 70 – 80% done. I couldn’t bitch if it were still ear­ly ac­cess, but this is sup­posed to a fin­ished game he is sell­ing. To quote a SuperNerdLand con­trib­u­tor, “Oh, for fucks sake.”

Ok, I’m out of here. Time to drown my sor­rows in ice cream. Wish me luck for the next chap­ter. My san­i­ty is still half present at least.

Herding Dog Review
SuperNerdLand’s Waifu of the Year 2015
The fol­low­ing two tabs change con­tent be­low.
Catelyn Winters
The old­est 12 year old. Also buy my mix­tape at http://supernerdlandia.tumblr.com/
Catelyn Winters

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