Translating Tumblr: The SuperWhoLock Fandom

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Are you ready? I’m sor­ry you had to see that ear­li­er. I wish I could have shown you some­thing less aw­ful to start off, but that’s just where those peo­ple hang out. This next part is more cringey than ac­tu­al­ly il­le­gal. You can re­lax a little.

The fan­doms hang around this lay­er of the labyrinth, so that’s what we will be deal­ing with for now. Up ahead we have SuperWhoLock. This fan­dom has dwin­dled con­sid­er­ably from years ago when it was the mas­ter fan­dom…or at least when they thought they were. A look at the SuperWhoLock tag now will show you that any­one who used to be in the fan­dom now views it as their dis­gust­ing weeaboo-esque phase from when they were 14.


But, just like when you were once a weeb — yes I know about that — there will al­ways be new weebs. Someone will turn 14 some­where in the world, and their par­ent will get a Netflix sub­scrip­tion. A few years back, SuperWhoLock was the “rul­ing fan­dom” of Tumblr. I say they were the rul­ing fan­dom, but they were ac­tu­al­ly just ob­nox­ious mega fans who would shove SuperWhoLock into everything.



Luckily, since 2013, we’ve seen a de­cline in the fan­dom. You may no­tice that more peo­ple are shit­ting on the fan­dom in the tag rather than talk­ing about the shows. Move along. Ignore their va­cant stares.

What? You hear some­thing? Yeah…yeah I know what that is. Some fan­girl has be­gun the mat­ing cer­e­mo­ny. She’s singing the theme song for Doctor Who in hopes to find a mate. Watch your step, some of them are crawl­ing from un­der those rocks. It’s best to leave them be. Let them do it. I know, it’s gross. But it keeps them alive. Sort of.

Oh my gosh! Look out! *Pushes you out of the way and gets her arm grazed*

Argh! I’ll be fine! Let’s go! Keep run­ning, I can’t be­lieve they found us. Oh my god. I hate them, oh no…  Yes those are bul­lets! Get be­hind those bush­es! Are you ok?

Yeah, yeah I’ll be fine. Tumblr mag­ic will heal it. *Takes a self­ie and tags “me”* The likes will give me back my health. I’ll just need a few min­utes. It’s fun­ny in a not-so-funny way that they rolled through. I was just think­ing about them. Let’s wait for them to pass be­cause this is the most dan­ger­ous fan­dom. We’ll watch them from be­hind. Rest up for now.

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The old­est 12 year old. Also buy my mix­tape at

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