Translating Tumblr: Homestuck

Before we get into this part of the journey I guess now is a good time to tell you about the bots before we go through the door of the Homestuck fandom. You may have seen them along the way, eyes empty and repeating sentences that make no sense. Those are the Bots. I mentioned the Labyrinth Cleaners before, here’s another example of their failing to do anything useful. They flood ask boxes and tags like this all the time, and the Labyrinth Cleaners pay them no mind no matter how much we complain about it.

Looking back you may remember some other blogs mentioning they had a Homestuck phase and it was horrible for them. It most likely was, and really I feel for them. I’ve never had an interest in Homestuck, and I don’t think I ever will, but the fandom has been around for years — at one point being pretty big. And somewhat obnoxious. It was every-fucking-where. Nowadays it’s like SuperWhoLock, if you can unblock that unpleasant memory long enough to remember our visit there.

Okay, now that that’s over with, let’s get going. What do you think of when you hear “Homestuck?” I think of a girl I knew in high school who’d wear horns on a headband and draw erotic Homestuck fanart in the cafeteria. In other words, I think of a weird type of weeaboo — just without the Japanese obsession part. If that makes any sense.

Onto the adventures. Let me just figure out how to get rid of all these Bots…oh hey look!

There we go. It’s all cleared up… holy shit, wait! Abort abort!

This was a mistake! Homestuck is hit or miss really. There are so many annoying and weird people in the fandom, but there’s also rather neat people who do very nice cosplay and art. Such as these!

But then you run into this…

I am so, so sorry reader. I wasn’t expecting it either. I remember in my first year on Tumblr, I left my blog for a week because I saw something similar to that but it involved tentacles. Just shut your eyes and take my hand. I’ll take you out of the NSFW area. There’s a lot. Keep these eyes closed! I know we’ve been walking for a while just wait another second. Keep walking. Is that the exit? I think so. Nope. Ok. Keep walking.

Ok we’re out. You can open your eyes now.

Why does it need a gender… whatever.

Get settled in, this will become more common as we get deeper into the labyrinth.

Don’t laugh, they’ll hear you!

What’s that rumble in the backgroun? Shit! Run! Go, they heard it!

Look out!

Move!

Quick! Hide behind those inactive blogs! Crouch, they won’t notice us back here. We’re going to be here a while as the stampede passes through. For a fandom that stopped being as visible on Tumblr as it used to be, there are still a lot of people in it. We may as well rest here so we’re ready for the next leg of our journey. Go ahead and get some sleep, I’ll keep first watch.